(by Phil Rippa)

For reasons that future generations will continue to study – the early to mid 90s because a wasteland of sports teams making hype videos centered on God knows what. The general rule of thumb is that they were awkward as all get out. Since this was the period of time when I was going to college at American University in Washington, DC I became all too familiar with the Washington Bullets attempts to relate to their base.

For the 1994-1995 season, the Bullets paid “rapper” Jesse Jaymes (because when you are a “rapper” you spell your name any damn way you please. In reality – Jesse Jaymes was Jesse Itzler who also went to American) to write them a ditty to use in their promotional videos. Jaymes then changed the lyrics to his New York Knicks video and called it a day (the Hornets fell for this bit too). The result was…

Now I love this video. “Go Bullets Go” is so freaking catchy is its embarrassing. It’s like Carly Rae Jepsen travelled back 20 years just to torment your ears. They say “You Da Man!” as many times as she says she really likes you.

I love that they rap the entire roster.
I love that the Bullets clearly went on a work retreat that we have all had to suffer through at some point in time. There’s just happened to be sightseeing on the National Mall.
I love that no one wears a hat properly.
I love Gheorghe Muresan’s coat.
I love Scott Skiles wind-blown receding hair line.
I love goofy Kenny Walker.
I love the fans they got to be in the video. Clearly there were no PR people worried about fan representation in the 90s.

Oh but then it got so much better. For the next season, they remixed the song.

That remains one of my all-time favorite Youtube videos (it’s either that or the guy falling off the ladder on QVC). Replacing the fans with local media with local media and athletes is a masterstroke. I mean what the hell is Olie Kolzig doing? I also was convinced the first 40 times I watched this that Abe Pollin was actually Robin Ficker. And somehow the Wizards managed to become even whiter. TWO Price Brothers!

Nothing I write will do either of these videos justice. I just felt the need to make sure everyone is aware of them. I also feel the need to make sure that I let you know that the Bullets hype video before these was Naughty By Nature re-doing Hip Hop Hooray.

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