REJECTED CAN’T TEACH SPEED CONTENT

REJECTED CAN’T TEACH SPEED CONTENT

(by Phil Rippa)


Over the course of the now 11 years of doing Veteran Presence/Can’t Teach Speed, we have kicked around quite a few ideas for content. Anything that would be maybe entertaining. Or at least get someone interested enough to click on a link. These are some of the things that I could remember that never came to be.


ICKY WOODS FPOTM

Boy – the Icky Woods FPOTM might be my white whale… umm… black whale based on recent Icky photos??? Every time I would start the Woods FPOTM he would do something to get himself another 15 minutes of fame. Whether it be the How I Met Your Mother reference. Or the numerous times he would show up on NFL Network Top 10s. Or the most recent Geico commercials. And all I ever wanted to do was make the joke about how Icky Woods ruined football because he created an end zone dance that white people could do. Then I figured I would either link to Regis Philbin doing the Icky Shuffle or film myself doing it. So you are welcome I guess.


MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER: GREATEST GOALS 1996 – 2003 DVD REVIEWmlsdvd

Oh the early days of Major League Soccer. In the early days of the site – I had this idea that I would start using my Netflix account to get Sports DVDs and review them for content. I am pretty sure this was the very first DVD I tried that idea with and since you are seeing it here in the rejected content ideas, you see how well that went. I watched the DVD twice – put a whole lotta notes down on paper, including jokes that I was actually proud of. All I had to do was convert it into some sort of coherent structure and I would be done. Then my computer died… Eventually I recovered the contents of said dead hard drive but the desire was gone. At one point I became determined to finish the piece so I bought TWO copies of the DVD from Amazon – I sent one to Barnwell, probably to torment him or at least prove that this DVD I had constantly talked about, actually was real. I got back to work and immediately realized that half my jokes were outdated (trust me – the Josh Gros played at Rutgers joke was relevant 10 years ago). So slowly I started to piece something together again and… computer #2 died. So yeah – I think this idea is cursed. I do still own the DVD – I clearly am a crazy person.
Here is a message board forum discussion about it. 


TOMMY GREENE FPOTM

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Only reason I ever wanted to do a Tommy Greene FPOTM is because I owned the Score trading card that celebrated one of the worst no hitters ever thrown. 130 PITCHES! 7 WALKS! I even went so far as to scan the card in so I would have that ready for when I was finished. Problem was there wasn’t much else to say after 130 PITCHES! 7 WALKS! Someone uploaded the entire game to Youtube if your want to rethink your life choices for four hours.

BOX SCORE


JEFF INNIS FPOTM
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I lay the blame for this at Barnwell’s feet since Innis is basically his all-time favorite player so I figured he would write it. Yeah… I misjudged Big Time Barnwell. How the heck did I get so many Innis’ cards?Innis_action
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BASEBALL TEAM HALL OF FAMES

Ed and I have long since been fascinated with individual MLB team’s hall of fame/walk of fame/ring of honor etc… And looking at some of the…umm… questionable… people inducted, it is amazing (See also the Chris Hoiles FPOTM). So is seeing the teams who pretty much induct everyone who ever put on a uniform or the teams who induct no one (or the teams that do both at the same time – we are looking at you Brewers). The problem is that there is no consistency from team to team. And do we start counting retired numbers? And plaques? And statues? Plus – the Cardinals have one of the best systems and I felt horrific when I realized that and totally abandoned the project.


FUN WITH JAPANESE BASEBALL

This one is a little hard to explain since it is more than just talking about guys careers in baseball. Long ago – Ed found a site that had bios and the career stats of a lot of folks who played baseball professionally in Japan. So of course you had your gaijin (Tuffy Rhodes, Walter Cromartie, Fernando Seguignol) but it also had folks like Giant Baba. I am not sure exactly what we were going to do with it but we were going to do SOMETHING. Problem is the site is long dead. And using basically the Japanese version of Baseball Reference isn’t the same.


POTENTIAL 30 For 30 IDEAS

God – we have been doing this for awhile. I mean clearly this idea started kicking around in my head in 2009 since that was when the 30 for 30 idea started thanks to ESPN’s 30th Anniversary. I figured I would do a list of 30 topics (similar to my other 30 Reasons… pieces like HERE and HERE) some of them serious some of them not. I only made it to 21

1. 1993 MLB Expansion Draft
2. MLS Inaugural Season
3. Sunday Silence vs. Easy Goer
4. Halftime Fan Contests
5. Manute Bol
6. Video Games and Sports
7. Worst Natural Disasters in Sports history
8. American Gladiators
9. Worst Sports Broadcasting decisions
10. 1987 NFL Season/Replacement Players
11. Sean Taylor
12. The San Francisco Earthquake
13. “Boys Will Be Boys”
14. Curt Schilling – Greatest Man Alive
15. Horrible Sports Technology Inventions
16. Wrestlers who played football
17. Unfortunate Sports Music Videos
18. Rich Kottie
19. The Perez Brothers
20. The National
21. CBS’ baseball coverage

At least I nailed one of them (the 89 San Francisco Earthquake).

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