Thank You Youtube: THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ers “RAP”


(by Phil Rippa)

If there was one thing the Chicago Bears were ever good for it was for doing the Super Bowl Shuffle. Because by doing that video – since the NFL has always been a copycat league – it meant EVERY team ended up doing a video at some point.

The San Francisco 49ers did a rap video that is as wonderfully 80s as you could possibly imagine.

If you were unable to watch the video please know you missed the following things

  • Roger Craig looking like he just snorted all the cocaine in the world. If he blinks during the video, I missed it. (Granted he and a bunch of other dudes wear their sunglasses inside because… Hollywood?) He ends his section by ripping off his shirt Hulk Hogan style for no apparent reason (outside of drugs…). And that is just the first minute.
  • Jerry Rice – God Bless him. Thank God he was the greatest receiver of all time because man oh man can he doing nothing else. Awkward as all get out. Jerry attempts to rhyme was and cuz. Doesn’t end well. Thankfully he was wearing the earphones around his neck because, ya know, those don’t help you keep the beat or anything.ricerap
  • That is when Doug DuBoise barges in and rants about like a loon. It’s almost like he was begging for a FPOTM while filming this video. I think I owned better jeans and I was 10. Drops “sissy” which clearly was code for a word that would get him fined in today’s NFL
  • Remember all the old Salt N Pepa videos? I am now convinced Ronnie Lott raided the same wardrobe closet.
  • Whoever was doing the graphics for the video clearly had owned QuarkXPress for like three days. Roughly every 30 seconds, you see them discover how to do something else. It was like Homer Simpson just kept inserting star wipes into everything.quark
  • Someone who isn’t identified (who I don’t recgonize because this was like 30 years ago) wears a very very pink shirt even for the 80s. Might have been Philip Michael Thomas himself.
  • They have Eric Wright introduce all the defensive players who had the good sense to have other plans the day of this video shoot. Wright says “Let me introduce to the D” however it comes out “Let me introduce you to the dick”. That would be an ENTIRELY different video.

God I didn’t even mention things like the dude dressed as Mario or Eddie DeBartolo Jr.’s cameo or DuBoise as Stevie Wonder. The song is far worse than You Da Man but the video is right there with it.

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